Ebb & Flow
Montana travelogue + a list of books that inspired 'A Sense of Place'
I always have a hard time deciding how to start these newsletters. In some ways, this is symbolic of the way life has felt across the last few months: vague, indecisive, and at times, lacking direction. The beauty of that is even in times of uncertainty there remains the potential of limitless possibility.
So far, this year has been an adjustment in both living and creating. In January, I started my first full-time job in nearly two years. After an extended period of unemployment followed by part-time work in roles and places that had little to do with my prior experience, I knew returning to a more prototypical occupation in the near future was a strong possibility.
That change manifested itself to coincide with the new year. Initially, it was a transition I had mixed feelings about. Going into it I feared I would end up lamenting the loss of my freedom. That going back to a 9-to-5 type job would zap my creative ambition and diminish the amount of time I’d have to dedicate to passion projects.
Nearly four months into it, those fears have largely subsided and I’m starting to feel more comfortable with my new habits and routines. There are still days when self-doubt is prevalent and my purpose feels questionable. Those instances are balanced out by moments of joy and gratitude. What I’ve learned is that all of these feelings are okay. More than anything, this process has been a gentle reminder that adjusting takes time and that change is a catalyst that keeps us moving forward.
Things I’ve been finding joy in lately include taking photos and making Super 8 videos, live music, travel, and baseball (both watching and playing). Since returning to more of a structured work schedule, I’ve also realized the importance of carving out time specifically for leisure-related activities that either give me something to look forward to or put me in a different headspace. Recently, that’s included short trips to Seattle and the Grand Canyon, picking up shifts on the dock at Lake Cachuma on the weekends, and listening to new albums that have been sitting in my queue for a while. In an effort to keep stirring my imagination, I even made a summer reading list of books I’ve desperately been wanting to dive into. First up is Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood.
Zine Excerpt: Montana
In continuing to share about the making of A Sense of Place, five of the written excerpts from the zine have been published as individual essays on my website.
One of these essays, “From Soil to Snowfall,” documents a hiking trip into the great mountains of Montana’s Bitterroot Valley during the summer of 2020. Check out a snippet below.
“From Soil to Snowfall”
We had only been in Victor for two days but the mountains of the Bitterroot Valley had us under their spell once again. Unlike our previous visit three years prior, this trip had no agenda. Its main objective was to have no objective at all; my dad was keen on kicking back and taking things day by day, which of course we were all fine with. We didn’t go to any of the national parks nor did we have a checklist of to-do’s or must-see activities. Instead, we lounged - Montana style - which, in reality, still meant perusing high elevations and hikes galore, albeit at our own pace.
The weather so far had been crummy at best. We’d seen thunderstorms, lots of rain, and predominantly grey skies, though it did little to deter us from exploring the wonders of our home for the next week. On Sunday morning, after filling our stomachs with bacon and farm fresh eggs, we planned a daytime excursion to Burnt Fork Lake, our second hike in as many days.
The lake, a highly-frequented, camp-friendly waterhole, was technically only a handful of miles away but the steep and muddy inclines required that we drive at a slow speed. We sat and wobbled our way to the top in a comfortable quiet, making casual conversation about past trips and listening to J.J.’s many hiking stories. I was thinking about Huckleberry Beer. I silently prayed each turn would bring us closer to our destination but the road ahead appeared to go on forever.
Read the full travelogue here.
Reading List
One of the great driving forces behind A Sense of Place was the books I read throughout its creation. I wanted to put together a shortlist of the ones that impacted me the most during this time. From Jack Kerouac’s freewheeling highway adventures and melancholy portraits of post-war America to Gretel Ehrlich’s pensive meditations on the Wyoming landscape, each book below played an important role in fueling the mindset from which the zine was born. There are a lot of obvious culprits here but hopefully a few unfamiliar titles that may pique your interest as well.
Eve Babitz ~ Slow Days, Fast Company: The World, The Flesh, and L.A.
Anthony Bourdain ~ Kitchen Confidential
Oliver Cable ~ Fresh Air and Empty Streets
Paulo Coehlo ~ The Alchemist
Gretel Ehrlich ~ The Solace of Open Spaces
Jack Kerouac ~ On The Road
Jack Kerouac ~ The Dharma Bums
Adam Schoalz ~ Beyond the Trees
Patti Smith ~ Year of the Monkey
Patti Smith ~ Just Kids
Patti Smith ~ M Train
John Steinbeck ~ Travels With Charley
Eckhart Tolle ~ A New Earth
Peter Simon ~ I and Eye: Pictures of My Generation
Wildsam Road Trip Series: California
Zine Updates and Info
As previously mentioned on various channels, A Sense of Place is officially restocked with a new batch of physical copies. This will likely be the final shipment, so if you missed it on the last go-around and would like to snag one, please reach out via DM or purchase it directly on my website. Word is it makes a great gift and is a worthy travel companion.
If you’re in the Santa Barbara area, ASOP is also available for purchase in three different shops around town! Chaucer’s Books, Folio Press & Paperie, and Westward General have all been kind enough to stock the zine in limited quantities. Very grateful to be featured in such a rad group of local bookstores and boutiques. Would love to know if you are able to stop by and say hello.
As for future updates, I’m exploring a few ways to keep expanding on the scope of this project, some of which I’m very excited about. At the moment, these ideas are still very much on the ground level, but I will be sure to update this space if and when things look as if they will come to fruition.
Until the next dispatch…
A Sense of Place is available for purchase on my personal website. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more frequent updates.
What is a rainbow, Lord?
A hoop
For the lowly.
— Jack Kerouac